I’ve had a writing block lately which has been bothering me for a couple weeks. Maybe only writers understand this, but writing is not easy. I do love yoga pants and wear them whenever I can. But you don’t just sit and watch novels drift magically out of your computer. Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful to be home and able to write. There are just days or weeks when I feel so stuck and distracted.
It’s a constant struggle with humanness. I suspect people in many professions could relate. Working from home is challenging because of the self-discipline it takes. If I really want to obey God and write what He wants, meet deadlines on devotionals, write stories on my blog, submit articles and edit that manuscript, then I actually have to write. Yes, actual writing.
A famous saying is, that a writer is always writing or thinking about writing.
I never seem to ‘just’ go somewhere. My mind never shuts off. As I listen to the BSF lecture I frantically take notes while ideas for devotionals and stories fill my soul. I read through parts of my mom’s diaries and dream of what her life was like. While driving, seeing a certain cloud formation will make me melancholy. When in the shower it seems that the story I imagined washes away. In church I take notes and can’t wait to get home and expand on them. Interviewing someone makes me want to share their story of hope. Writing or Bible conferences fill my mind with grandiose ideas to inspire the world. On the boat, the warm breezes and sparkling water make me feel like I’m soaking in creativity itself.
But when I look at those notes later, lots of times they fall flat. Often I still wonder “What should I write about? These scribbles just don’t seem to inspire me anymore.” Fear crawls in. Amazing ideas fade away easily.
Other writers seem to say similar things…the wash calls, the dishes yell at you, the cobwebs hang there and laugh at you. Even taking down the Christmas icicle lights on the eves of the house looks more appealing than writing many times. We may set a record and just leave them up for next year. Even vacuuming seems appealing. There is definitely something wrong with that.
I’ve learned that the best thing to do, is to pray. When I sat down today I began with prayer. My supportive husband had told me to go spend time writing, as he had some things to work on in the house.
I couldn’t get my mind wrapped around a thing to write about. The normal time-wasters answering a few emails and facebook began to creep in. My Bible was open and I read a few passages. Nothing was coming together. I closed my eyes and prayed again. I was discouraged by a few things that were happening in my life. I felt dry and empty.
Finally a distress text went out to a couple of my precious best friend/prayer warriors. They both discerned what the blockage was and agreed on it before I knew what was happening. Obviously discernment is not one of my strong gifts. I recognized that I had received a strong confirmation though. It made me all jittery and filled with awe what the Lord was showing me right in that moment.
This is one of the text prayers which came back to me…”I just want to pray right now in the name of Jesus that the flowing of the Holy Spirit will come upon Myrna and that any spirit of discouragement or blockage will fall off of Myrna right now and that your Holy Spirit will give her your words and your thoughts. Give her your direction in what she should write about Lord. May it flow directly from your heart into her heart and mind, and flow into her fingers onto the keyboard. Lord may she close her eyes right now and drink in your peace, grace and mercy and may she take such a huge drink that she will overflow onto the keyboard. May your anointing fall upon her right now and may she begin to write what you would have her to write. May the utterance of your Holy Spirit flow into her spirit Lord. In the name of Jesus Amen and Amen!”
My husband and I had planned to take a walk and I knew the sunshine and exercise would do my soul good. I deliberately left my phone on the couch and took off to a beautiful park on the dunes of Lake Michigan called Sanctuary Woods with my loves~my husband and dog. (yes I am caring for “my” dog again this week which is a wonderful treat) The paths were clear of snow and ice, and it was such a cool, bright sunny day. That cool air cleared my confusion and fear too. When we saw the view at the top of the hill overlooking Lake Macatawa it was breathtaking and began reviving my soul.
So tonight, I began over again with a renewed heart and mind. I am blessed beyond measure with extra troops in my life when I need them.
Let it flow Lord, let it flow…
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will” Rom. 12:2