Slowly, God revealed a different plan for my life. I was led to write for His glory, and into more intercessory and healing prayer.
I was reaffirmed about who I was…I’m a beloved daughter of the one True King.
Why was I reluctant to let Him work? Why was it so scary or unreal at times? Do I still talk about the Holy Spirit in word, but not cooperate fully and let Him give good gifts? There’s so many beautiful gifts He wants to give us, and do I say, “No thank you, I don’t want them?”
Several of my illnesses went away over time. My painful gut which was unexplained by doctors and tests disappeared, my plantar fasciitis in my feet went away, and other things improved. I still have Tinnitus-it’s there 24/7. I do get exhausted after being in situations where I have had to work to hear others. I’ve learned to cope and compensate. I still love to sing, and just hope that I make a little better than a “joyful noise!” Now I’ve made peace with my ear, and we’ve called a “truce.” The first year or two I had it, it tormented me. I’d go to bed crying many nights, praying it would stop.
As one friend commented, “It does get better.” When I’m busy reading, working on the computer, or doing life, I don’t “listen” to the screaming sound. There are times when it bothers me, such as when I’m in a restaurant, because that is one of my favorite things to do. Background noise makes it very difficult to pick up individual voices. I get in “people’s space.” I try to place myself so my good ear can pick up as much as possible. When I’m in church, or a show, I miss quite a bit. Those under the breath jokes go right past me. But I’ve learned to smile and nod a lot.
Sometimes I miss total silence. I try to remember what that was like. I take solace in the fact that I will have a perfect body again in heaven, and that includes my ear.
Sometimes, when I’m with my kids, I just have to sit back, read the faces and enjoy watching the banter between them and their dad. I don’t think I can read lips, but I’m very in tune with people’s body language and emotions by observing. It teaches me to listen well, and that is something I certainly needed work on. The Lord may choose to heal me physically in this life. In the mean time, I choose to trust Him.
I joke around about a down-to-earth truth…that I’m already experiencing some of heaven, because I get to hear the “rushing wind” of the Holy Spirit in my head ALL the time!
I thank God for the Tinnitus because the searching caused me to receive much healing in my soul. The healing that I received, made me desire to share that gift with others. God has granted me the gift of praying for and with others for healing. Other gifts of the Spirit have also manifested themselves at times.
The Lord assigned other work for me to do. I have discovered that I’m energized by writing. I love to communicate and tell stories. He’s brought me full circle into a life of peace that I am so thankful for. I love to be with people, but then enjoy long hours of writing, reading and praying. That centers me with the Holy Spirit again.
He is the three-in-one God, the great I AM. God the Father, Jesus the Son who died for our sins, and the Holy Spirit who is our protector, healer and guide.
He did miracles thousands of years ago, in the Old and New Testament, and He does them today. I’ve witnessed His work with my own eyes, not just in a Bible story.
So you might say, this was about Tinnitus, the Holy Spirit, and Spiritual Gifts…that’s because it’s all so intertwined. It’s all His work, it’s all part of me, which is part of Him.
I want the whole God along with me every day. He is faithful.