He Holds Me

Smack! The car careened in two circles, jumped through the air, and landed in the ditch. Eerie silence.

This is how it was explained to us later.

About ten years ago, one of our sons had a serious car accident. When we received the call, we flew out the door to drive to the scene, arriving just after the police. Our son walked toward us unharmed. Our young exchange student stayed seated in the car. He was alert and didn’t appear injured but he wasn’t ready to stand or walk. The first responders thought he should be examined for the abdominal pain he was experiencing so I rode in the ambulance with him to the hospital. Many hours and several tests later revealed that he had a minor internal injury which would heal with time.

Anyone would have fear and anxiety when they hear of their child being in a car accident. We prayed with great fervency and anxiousness on the way to the scene. These are times when it’s understandable to have fear, but when it’s a daily, almost hourly occurrence, that’s different.

Fear confused me throughout my life. It seemed to be a sin because so many times the Bible tells us, “Do not be afraid.”  I grew up in a strict home and church environment that was very conservative with a strong dose of punitive. I visualized God the Father as a big guy in the sky pushing His thumb down on me, saying, “Shape up and do not fear!”

When I was a little girl we sang “Jesus Loves Me” in Sunday School.  I vaguely remember the flannel graph picture of Jesus holding children on his lap. It was a nice story about those lucky kids who were around during Jesus’ earthly life, but it didn’t seem to apply to me.

During my life I’ve been aware of God’s love for me, but I can’t fully comprehend it. In Ephesians 3, the Lord has revealed how His love is four-dimensional, the height, depth, length and breadth of it incomprehensible.

Fear and anxiety have knocked on my door ever since I was a child. Finding verses in the Bible, I’d often guilt myself and allow others guilt me too. A passage like Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand,” sounds like a command. In 2 Tim. 1:7, scripture says,” I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control.” The “shoulds” piled up like a slippery slope before me.

Learning to listen only to God and not the accusing voices in my head, His unexplained clear voice comes through all the static of life. Our enemy, Satan, tries to drown out the Father’s loving words.

IMG_2723 sunset from sunroom

When fear is mentioned in these verses and others, God is saying, “Come to me, my child, you don’t have to fear because I love you very much. Nothing can separate you from me.”

The Lord says, “Do not fear, FOR I am with you.” It’s as if he’s saying, “Have courage,” not “You’re a bad person because you fear!” This wonderful truth calls me to rest in Him. Through the love of Christ, I’m able to hold out my hands and receive this gift from the Lord, my loving heavenly Father.

Bible verses about fear are for encouragement, not a command that you have to feel guilty about when you don’t measure up. A friend described it this way…as a parent we respond to our child in the middle of the night, by holding the fearful child in our arms, and soothing them with words of comfort and love. We don’t scold them, tell them not to be afraid and slam the door.

The accident that our son had, could have ended very differently. The boys lived and it was a miracle. If the contact with the large vehicle had happened one second sooner, it could have ended in serious injury or death because of the intensity, speed and position of the impact. We were extremely grateful to God for His grace and mercy.

I know others have had indescribable pain in their lives and I don’t pretend to understand God’s ways and timing. The “even if” scenario can also come into play, which none of us wants to experience.

One thing I do know, God is with me, holding me, and loving me.

IMG_4977 Larry holding Marai

 

“He will carry the lambs close to His heart.” Isaiah 40:11

I can hear His heartbeat. I can feel His heartbeat. He holds me.

If you have a story to tell about God holding you, it might encourage someone else.

 

About Myrna Folkert

Myrna is an author who desires to use her gifts to glorify God. She's created this blog to tell stories of her childhood, musings about life, motherless daughters, grief and loss, faith in God, her family history, and facts about the Long QT syndrome. She also has a hearing condition called Tinnitus. Doing interviews with motherless daughters like herself are of great interest. Join in discussions by following this blog and commenting. She would love to hear your stories about life. Myrna is a Christ follower, wife, mother, sister, friend, aunt, and cousin. She was an elementary school teacher for 27 years; now works in her church, and a few other volunteer activities such as Hospice doing "Life Reviews" and Vigils. Myrna loves to read, write, listen to music, go to concerts, and take pictures. Her favorite pastime is boating with her husband near the beautiful shores of West Michigan.
This entry was posted in anxiety, Family, fear, God, God our Father, God's faithfulness, God's Love, God's protection, love and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to He Holds Me

  1. Anonymous says:

    Wonderful story, Myrna!! DJ

    Liked by 1 person

    • Robert W. Miner says:

      Very courageous to share this Myrna!
      I too have been plagued by fears,since infancy actually.And worsened by PTSD issues and losses. But in recent years I have found, thru counseling, journaling, Scripture and prayers, sometimes a gentle touch or hug from my counselor, sometimes in prayer walks and “pillow talks”– I have found real healing for the root issues that fueled the painful fears. Psalm 34:4-8 are favorite verses on this.
      I have also found that singing some favorite songs/choruses aloud and praying aloud are great helps, and even using Aromatherapy using pure Lavender or Patchouli Oils inhaled and mixed with prayer– these are extremely helpful!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Duane! It is always so good to hear from you! I can just see your bright smile and wave as I read your greetings!

      Like

  2. Kelly Tanis says:

    This is such a good writing Myrna. Thank you for writing this. I am sure it will help many!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Denise Joy says:

    Thank you for sharing this, Myrna. Deep truth! I had never looked at “Do not fear” verses as commands that make us feel inadequate or disobedient, but I can see that happening. Especially if as a child, you heard, “Don’t do this and don’t do that” all the time. The enemy is clever with his lies – takes the truth and twists and distorts it. But God is our strength and comfort and does, indeed, hold us continually close to His heart and in His hands.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anonymous says:

    Such a beautiful post. Thank you.

    Like

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