Well, I will tell you a story whether you want to hear it or not!  It was my husband’s 50th birthday today.  So being a good wife, I wanted to do something special for him.  I tend to get a little over zealous at times.  He wasn’t able to come out to our boat this afternoon, so I thought this would be a great time to wash the boat on the outside for him.  Now, you say, so what??  Well, to preface this story, I will tell you that I am deathly afraid of spiders, am not coordinated, am afraid of heights, our boat is a 31 foot, and is in a slip at a Marina.

Ok, so this is how it went.  I opened the dock box and fought off hordes of spiders with the broom/brush.  I swept around the box, inside and outside of the box, and around the light box, where you turn the water on.  Oh, why do spiders love to be around water so much?  The hose is wrapped around a pole thing right in front of the boat.  So, I get the hose uncoiled and turn the water on.  I filled the big pail with boat soap and water.  Not too much…it would be too heavy.  (are you seeing a disaster coming?)

I went back into the boat with great determination and unzipped and unsnapped all the boat side and front covers.  I know that these are very old and difficult to take off.   They are much more difficult to put back on, but it was only 3:30 in the afternoon on a beautiful day.  I had this.

Now I proceeded to get the bucket and hose onto the front of the boat.  Why was a hose so heavy?  Well, I hoisted the half filled bucket onto the bow, and tried to pull the hose up there too.  I teetered on the edge of the dock and worked out a way to try to get that hose up on the bow.  Well, more than once, it fell into the water.  One time I pulled it back up, and lo and behold, I pulled up a brick with a rusty wire wrapped around it.  Just hanging there from the sprayer.  I dropped that back into the water.  I sure didn’t want to know what else is under our boat.  You see, Lake Macatawa is beautiful, but has a reputation…  Let’s just say it’s not clean.

So, I got the hose onto the bow and sprayed and brushed.  I had my tennis shoes on, but I know that part of the bow is very very slippery and I must crawl over those parts, or I would certainly end up like that brick.  Several times, men walked by, and even a man dressed in a military uniform.  I was so comforted by their presence…  One man walking with a woman, even commented what a great job I was doing.  I didn’t hear anyone offering any help with that hose.  It seems I have such a nice gang of people at my Marina.

A wealthy looking woman in a huge 50 ft-ish yacht rode by and gawked at me. Her look was all I needed.  It seemed to tell me, you poor woman, to wash a boat yourself.  And not pay someone to do it, and a woman no less!  No bow boys?  She pulled her fancy hat down to one side and smirked at my foolishness.

Well, I finally finished that bow, and proceeded to try to get the hose to stay in the cockpit of the boat so I could wash that part.  Why did that hose have such a mind of it’s own? It wasn’t quite long enough.  I hooked the sprayer end onto the steering wheel and hauled all my cleaning materials and the bucket into the cockpit.  Precariously crawling onto the sides of the boat, hanging onto the railings, I finished the sides.  Then I scrubbed the dashboard, the floor and the seats.

The ladies who had been sitting on the dock across the way, finally packed up and left.  I had my speech to them all planned.  If they said, “You’re making us look bad”, I was ready to reply with something like, “If you see me fall in the water, you will have an excuse not to wash the boat for your husband”.   I finished the swim platform, I swept for all spiders on the step and under the dock close to the boat- all of the spider webs I could reach.

Finishing the cockpit, I heaved the pail and rags up onto the dock.  I brought the hose back to coil it up.  I scrubbed the side panels with a soft hand brush.  I was really cookin’!  My hubby doesn’t even do that.  He leaves them.  Wow, I was woman, watch me roar!

One more major task.  I needed to wipe the seats with that special vinyl seat cleaner stuff that he always uses.  I reached for one of the seats.  My back went into a spasm.  I realized that I had just gone to the chiropractor for an adjustment earlier in the day.  I rendered that visit totally useless by my frenzy of activity.

But, it was such a beautiful day.  My husband would be so happy to see a clean boat tomorrow when he goes out there.  I finished the seats, dried the side panels and….oh, I forgot!  I needed to go back out on the bow and wipe it and the front windows with a shammy cloth or it would have all those water spots.  My back was killing me, but my mind kept racing.

Now, I had the task which I knew would give me trouble.  The side panels are extremely hard to zipper and snap and I knew it.  I started.   I knew the general process which my husband usually takes when doing it.  I had helped him countless times.  I could certainly do this.

I zipped first.  No, then I couldn’t snap.  Ok, so after fighting with the panels for about an hour, I thought I needed to try to snap first, and then zip.  Well, no, it needed to be a little zipping, and a little snapping.  Why does this take my hubby only about 10 min. to do?  I had to climb back out onto the bow again and again.  Zip from the inside, try to snap from the outside.  Climbing on my hands and knees so that I wouldn’t slip and fall.  I laid on those snaps.  I pushed on those snaps with all my weight.  They just didn’t want to be closed.  Finally, with some brute strength and some zip and some sweat, I got them all done.  Except for a couple of snaps.  I just do not have the arm strength to do them.  It would have to do until he got to the boat tomorrow.  I closed the boat up and it was finally done.  It was over three hours from the time I had begun the job.

A bird flew by.

That’s why I will leave the boat washing and putting the boat “window” panels on, to my husband next time.  And probably forever.  Sorry honey.

I love riding on the boat, sleeping in the boat, writing and reading in the boat, and spending time with my husband, family and friends on the boat.  I’m so thankful for the boat.

While I worked, I prayed for 50 more healthy years for you.

Happy 50th Birthday!  I’m so thankful that you wash the boat.  I will clean the inside.  I love you!  More.