Reflections over the last months…Part 1

I didn’t like the unknown, or even some of the results…

My husband and I – we’re on the other side of a lot of things. There will be more… That’s the way life is. Every family has dysfunction and disappointments.

While taking a walk the other night I was reflecting. Making a mental list of some of the huge life changes just since September that have happened to me, or those close to me.

A few that stand out- September was the first month in our lives when we were truly “empty nesters.” This time, it would be the real thing. My oldest son bought his own condo. The other son was talking of moving out west after graduation from college. Learning to reconnect on a deeper emotional and spiritual level with each other – alone. That’s work.

That month also brought news of a nephew who had heart surgery. His went fine and he recovered quickly. A visit from a dear friend from Honduras who was a leader with World Vision, which is an organization I’m intricately involved with. That caused a whirlwind reunion weekend with friends who had gone to Honduras together the summer before. Beginning Bible Study Fellowship for another fresh start as I was meeting new friends, and reacquainting with old.

October broke through with glorious color in my country backyard. It also ballooned into a long series of events involving my dear niece, who had heart surgery. Our boat was still in the slip, as the weather was gorgeous and warm.  A few last times on the boat as a sanctuary for the year.

IMG_2550

My niece’s surgery had complications which persisted. Long prayer sessions. My husband and I having discussions about the impending move. My sentimental attachment to our home. Cleaning, cleaning, staging and more cleaning….oh…   Lots of showings and no bites.

IMG_2635

Taking walks along the railroad tracks behind our home, telling my dog Ebony all about it. Apologizing to her. Dogs are a picture of unconditional love. Would we go to a condo, or a home where she could come along? Praying for my niece to improve and imploring every prayer warrior I knew to do the same. Looking up for clarity that didn’t come.

I went to the Breathe Writer’s Conference, but couldn’t even enjoy it and get my heart into it this year. I was laden with anxiety, fear, inadequacy, distraction, and a heavy heart. I was to the point of panic attacks which plagued me.

November came on with a chill. My niece would need a second heart surgery. As I was attending a conference on Spiritual growth, I prayed with the prayer team and had a very strong sense that something very big was about to happen in my life.

Am I the only one who feels like this sometimes? I believe that the more honest you are with people, the more others feel safe to open up too. A lot of this is way out of my comfort zone.

About Myrna Folkert

Myrna is an author who desires to use her gifts to glorify God. She's created this blog to tell stories of her childhood, musings about life, motherless daughters, grief and loss, faith in God, her family history, and facts about the Long QT syndrome. She also has a hearing condition called Tinnitus. Doing interviews with motherless daughters like herself are of great interest. Join in discussions by following this blog and commenting. She would love to hear your stories about life. Myrna is a Christ follower, wife, mother, sister, friend, aunt, and cousin. She was an elementary school teacher for 27 years; now works in her church, and a few other volunteer activities such as Hospice doing "Life Reviews" and Vigils. Myrna loves to read, write, listen to music, go to concerts, and take pictures. Her favorite pastime is boating with her husband near the beautiful shores of West Michigan.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Reflections over the last months…Part 1

  1. Kelly says:

    Wow your entry today sounds like you wrote just to me! We seem to be in the same place… other than I am not trying to write it out. 🙂 Thank you for putting words to my heart!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s